One Education, Under God: Prayer in Schools

Two children, twins, were separated at birth. One was sent to a prodigious learning institution under the stern leadership of a white Christian man who led the student body in a word of prayer each morning, read from God’s Holy WORD, and enforced prayer times throughout the day. The other went to a vile, secular government-funded education SWAMP with no morning chapel, no Bible study courses, and instead teachers who believed and TAUGHT evolution under the employment of a “principal” who was a WOMAN, atheist, and wearer of above-the-knee skirts. Christian child-warriors were smacked with rulers for trying to pray for their rotten, free-thinking classmates with parents who let them watch PG-rated programs.

The child who attended the second “school” went on to become an infamous murderer and Satanist who led his graduating class in rituals of the occult, tossing their God-fearing classmates into the sacrificial fire and eating RAISIN CAKES (Hosea 3:1–”Then the LORD said to me, ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes’”).

The first child, however, became a strong Republican President of the United States leading with the WORD of the LORD as a sword in his right hand and protecting our beloved country with the impenetrable shield of prayer in his left.

It seems clear to me that the differences between these two twins are enough to prove the importance, necessity, and irrevocable pragmatism that is the strict enforcement and regulation of prayer in schools. Let us destroy the curriculum of evolution and “science” and replace it instead with courses on loving, understanding, and sharing God’s WORD. It is this Word that will show us the path to righteousness, the path to salvation, and the path to overcoming once and for all the sickening plague of Democrats spreading their infectious curse to the youth of our country through the enforced attendance of free public schools.

If we do not start now, if we do not FIGHT, then there is no telling what will happen to this country in the next few years. We may be overcome with Satanists who walk about with veritable flame-throwers of sin scouring the country and beating down each and every one of us who will not join their army of lies, murder, promiscuity, and attending church only on Easter and Christmas.

We MUST stand up and fight for our rights to the First Amendment! Let us make this once again One Nation UNDER GOD, bring back the necessary implementation of prayer in our schools, and truly embrace the Freedom of (Christian-Exclusive) Religion on which our country was founded.

God Bless

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Here’s an Essay I Wrote for My Biblical Analysis Class

Final Paper: Gospel Synopsis

Hello, today I will be talking about the Bible, more specifically, the Christian Bible, written by God through His devout followers. In fact, when comparing the same stories included in early Christian gospels, in this study, a simple comparative literary method will be used with examples to argue in defense of this thesis.

In the Bible, there are many stories, and the stories are of God, and they are in the Word, which is of and with God as well. Some of these stories are written more than once, such as the one in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. Once, there was a desert, and in that desert, Jesus wept, for he had no water to drink and thus had to resort to drinking his own tears. Meanwhile, his cousin John the Baptist was gorging himself on locusts and honey while diving in his sweet, cool spot in the river Jordan. Jesus wandered for forty days and forty nights, living off sand scramble and tears when suddenly he came upon a lone fig tree. Jesus asked of the fig tree, “Tree, do you know who I am?” The fig tree responded in a manner of silence, and it was thusly that the fig tree answered him. Jesus asked him again with the same reply and once more with no results that differed from the last two. The sinful tree stood proudly in the glaring sun, refusing to humble himself to the LORD. Jesus cast a spell on the tree, and, to this day, the tree does not bear fruit. On the thirtieth day, the LORD began to grow weary. He was tired, hungry, and thirsty. It was on this day of our LORD’s starvation that the Dark Prince Beelzebub appeared to him with a cornucopia of temptations. Jesus approached Satan, thinking him to be a store keeper, as the desert’s heat had begun to play tricks on his mind. Satan offered the LORD a sandwich, and Jesus nearly accepted. The devil continued to try to tempt the LORD in this manner seven times, and seven times Jesus refused, strengthened by the LORD. On the fortieth day, Jesus had reached the end of the desert and came across his cousin John the Baptist swimming in the river Jordan. “Cousin, what are you doing in the river?” John the Baptist answered Christ, “Cousin, I am swimming. God has blessed us with a beautiful day, and I will rejoice and be glad in it,” and Christ was answered. Jesus asked of John the Baptist, “Cousin, baptize me,” for the LORD asks in commands, for it is rude to order but polite and godly to imply command with a rising intonation as if asking a question. John the Baptist swam to the shore and wrung the water out of his beard and guided Jesus to the waters. John the Baptist had the LORD count to three, and on the third number the LORD was baptized and made holy. God sent a dove from heaven to signal to the cousins that He was pleased, and all who saw knew Him and that He was pleased.

And it came to pass that Matthew, Mark, and Luke all transcribed this story. However, they did not all write this story in the same manner. Matthew chose to write the story with a pencil, Mark with a pen, and Luke with a crayon. These different mechanisms contributed to the differences found in each version. Mark’s is easy to read due to his use of a fine tipped Bic ballpoint pen and a clear block print handwriting. Matthew, on the other hand, had the best handwriting—a beautiful script made unfortunately very near illegible due to the smudge marks all over the scroll as well as various black smears from trying to erase mistakes. Luke’s copy is both juvenile and, frankly, of poor color choice. Choosing a lime green Crayola, Luke seems to have held the crayon in his fist like a three-year-old as he childishly transcribed the Word of God. Thus, while all three gospels may have written the same story, their differing writing utensils created a myriad of differences in style and content.

Now that I have told you about the Gospels, I hope you know a little more about God’s Word and why sometimes some of the stories are the same, but they are also a little different as well.

Thanks,

Austin Canady