Today, I’d like to address an issue quite close to my heart: homelessness in America. The very notion of it makes my blood boil with rage while my mouth foams with disgust-induced rabies at the easy, laid-back lives these SWINE lead. These entitled commie SCUM get to sit back and relax with their government-provided paycheck for not doing ANYTHING. If the American Dream can be so easily attained by simply choosing not to attain the American Dream, I don’t see how this country will survive this DECADE. Meanwhile, I am slaving away at university working toward a political science degree to FIGHT this problem in our nation. And I’m doing it all on my own! There is no government check coming into my mailbox delivering me a sweet envelope of a 4.0 GPA. The democrat “leaders” in our country are BABYING would-be janitors, McDonald’s fry cooks, and Walmart cashiers. If we continue to support these lackadaisical LOSERS how are we going to show our children the importance of hard work and determination? I can imagine today’s PREGNANT TEENS bringing into this world progeny who read their satanic children’s books like Harry Potter and are spoon fed pre-chewed success earned by the hard-working upper middle class who meanwhile are putting in a hard day’s work for their six-figured paychecks, coming home to a nice suburban neighborhood, and reading to their children from God’s Holy Word while their mother cooks and cleans the house, just like Jesus tells us to do (Source: Biblical analysis).
I hope that you will join me in the fight for JUSTICE, the fight for FAIRNESS, and the fight for EQUALITY. Let’s work together to stop the government’s pay for doing nothing and instead make them pay for doing nothing.
In short, get a job.
Alternate title: Is Welfare Really Fair?